Not exactly sure where my question went from last night, but I would like some way to privately talk to someone so that if and when problems arise, they can be dealt with in a private matter. Not out in the open to air out dirty laundry.
The official Stack Exchange policy on this feature request is a pretty firm No. There's extensive discussion on meta.stackoverflow if you'd like to read some more about the reasoning. I'm not sure I 100% agree with this position, but there it is.
The best option available is chat. It's certainly a good place to catch a mod if you want to talk to us about something.